> Do we love differently to women?

Yes and no. I think that in so far as our emotions are directed by our upbringing we have some re-programming to do to become more tender. This seems to me to be what most of the men/women books are about, e.g. think mars/venus and those sorts of books.

Where our love is influenced physically we have to slow down a bit to get in tune with the love cycles of women, and have to take this into account the other way around too. Books on tantric love making are of great value here, including the Kamasutra, but also going into the more esoteric, magic based texts.

When we are in touch with our higher selves, however, I believe that our love is the same as that of women in touch with their higher selves. Love from that source is nurturing and explosive at the same time, and is based on the deepest of respect for the sacred coupled with a will to open yourself up when that respect is returned. This type of love, however, requires a lot of inner work first. I would recommend daily meditation and a lot of self inquiry to clear any blocks or -ve core beliefs. Read books by Jane Roberts, particularly The Nature of Personal Reality: A Seth Book, and look at magical workings again from this point of view. Also Franz Bardon's Initiation into Hermetics and particularly the early exercise of creating a black and white mirror (lists of your own weaknesses and strengths, categorised into the 4 elements and also whether their influence on you is strong, medium or weak -- followed by active work to balance your elements and reduce your negative influences.)

> Do we have trouble expressing our love because we have to show it?

That depends on whether you feel safe within yourself or not. The less you care about what others think, the easier it is to bare your true self to the world.

> Do we fall in love easily, or do we tread warily around the shallows?

Those aren't two opposing ends. A better question would be if you changed the word easily to deeply :-) Although I am married, I fall in love with every beautiful woman I see, and the more I learn to love myself, the more people out there look beautiful to me. But I don't follow up on those, as I am bonded to my wife, and as part of my commitment I strengthen that bond when I can and avoid weakening the bond. This is not just a belief thing, but also energy work based on our chakras.

As to whether we love deeply or not, this depends (once again) on how much you are in touch with your higher self. It is said that all desire is, ultimately, desire for God (god/goddess/All That Is/Higher Self/etc). That is not to say that we should all become hermits of course. But we should all establish that contact first, before we strive for other things. It is the foundation on which our _real_ achievements are built and that gives us the inspiration to begin, the courage to dare and the strength to endure. Without it we are using up other forms of energy instead, usually to their and our detriment.

> What is the difference between loving, and being in love?

Being in love is having established links to someone. Loving is acting to strengthen those links and to avoid weakening them. This can be through meditation and visualisation, through ritual, through positive thoughts and avoiding negative or distracting thoughts, and also through physical gestures, such as paying attention to her/him and not to others, and to be supportive not destructive.

> What is our greatest fear when opening ourselves to a lover?

If we do so without having found our inner self, it is the fear that the lover is not what we are looking for (and we would be right.) When we have found ourselves, we should fear that the partner hasn't found him/herself and thus isn't ready for the relationship. What we usually do fear, however, are the mundane things of being hurt, being rejected, being used, falling out of love (damn it, enjoy it, don't think about when you may not enjoy it - let that happen when it happens :-) and those sorts of things.

Another good book is Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, in which she gives a program by which we find inner blocks and eventually open ourselves up to creativity and the Creator -- just another of the thousand names of God :-) Also 'Happy for no good reason' by Swami Shankaranando for a truely excellent guide to yogic meditation exercises.

Blessings,

Ralf