by J Kelsey
> what is men's ritual and do invocations have a place in it?
I tend to think of invocation more as part of attuning, or even worship which for me is the process of allowing myself (offering myself) to be shaped by the things outside of myself that I reverence.
I wonder if the question of what is mens ritual for should follow after a simpler question: what is ritual for?
Ritual is a conscious set of actions that enhance some objective. Typical objectives for ritual include, (please add too and refine this list) :
Even in this short list these overlap or refine each other rather than being distinctly different. Rituals may be about many things.
>What are the objectives of a men's circle?
It depends upon the ways that men are different from women and how prepared we are to see and work with those differences.
Our society offers some obvious differences in roles and history. Perhaps there is a place for ritual that reminds us that the society of men has been systematically harmful towards women and children and the natural world.
I think that as individuals we would do all that we can to be shaking off this history and the present potential. Perhaps ritual that recognises and remembers the cost of the past and reinforces the value of other roles and ways of acting and interacting.
Thinking about rituals as memory I wrote this some time ago:
" An important thing that our society lacks is stories that show us our place in the world. I sometimes think that the constant flow of new stories in movies, books and on the television is an attempt to fill this void.
So to that flood I'll add one more story. This one is about our relationship with the world; I'll compare it to a marriage - the world as humanities bride.
In our youth we're promised to each other. Humanity was a child while the world was an older and more mature girl. She played with us and let us explore. We delighted in her and she supported us.
In time we came to know her more intimately, used our accute mind to find out her secrets. She honoured and humored us in this, her boy learning to be a man, knowing herself to be everything we needed.
Then, when we should have been entering a more mature relationship of mutual responsibility and commitment, we set about raping her. Consuming her beyond her ability to give, scarring and defiling her. Denying her the honour she deserves and fooling ourselves into believing that we posess her. To this day many of us live lives that harm her, while most of the rest of world aspires to such a life.
There has always been a cry of conscience, poets and leaders, ordinary women and men, children, who abhor the destruction. Now many of us are realising the enormity and horror of our actions. We cannot hang our heads in shame but must instead act to restore her honour, heal her beauty and grant her the place she deserves.
Even if we succeed we will always be the husband who raped his bride. "
> Are there divinities or spirits that it makes sense for men to worship and not women?
Perhaps we're concerned not with strictly male roles but more with predominately male roles. What roles are male roles (intrinsically or only culturally)?
Most of my closest friends and confidantes are women, for me I think there's a place for rituals that recognise the value and unique shape of relationship between myself and individual men who are my friends (and sometimes not my friends but simply part of my community)
My dealings with men are not particularly sexual, perhaps there are healing or transformational rituals that would be well shaped by not having the sexual current that is often there when in ritual with women. Even between myself and Shannon who is a working partner and not a sexual partner there is a sexual element when we work together, it's potent but maybe a distracting undertow that isn't needed.
It may be that we need to develop rituals of healing and reconciliation related to violence that is typically male. There's a can of worms here but in time it should be dealt with.
There are no particularly meaningful rites of passage for boys and men in our present society, and the passages themselves are not clear. Still I feel like we could develop a ritual that honours being male and growth as a man by sharing what it means to us. Perhaps as little as a comfortable circle and starting from eldest to youngest, talking about what it means to each one to be a man now. It would be good to have a chance to share, and as more older men become active in the pagan community (and as we age) this become even more valuable.
> Do you think that we are more in tune with our bodies when we do something physical?
I had a great sweat lodge a few years ago. Part of what made it great was the work of building the thing over the two weekends before hand.
Similarly the main ritual at Applegroves Yule this year required a number of separate fires to built which meant lugging stones and firewood beforehand during the day. Being who I am I was roped into that and it was in retrospect an important part of the ritual. For me the transformation of space from mundane to sacred is made more intense because I'm often involved in setting up the mundane stuff at the rituals I'm involved in.
>Do you get frustrated by having many questions and finding few answers in relation to men's spirituality?
We find what we can, and we keep working and then in years to come we'll have ernt the title elder which seems to be given away these days. We'll have something that new young men can build on, change, and discard as make sense in the new times.
-- Cheers, J Kelsey.